Improving mentee's motivation

How do you support your mentee during difficult times?

First of all, let's understand what being motivated means. Being motivated means a person is ready to move mountains to achieve their goal. This state helps you to be productive and try again and again when something does not work out.

There are a lot of advantages to being motivated, but you need to remember that it is quite an energy-consuming state, and it is impossible to always be highly motivated. There are days when you don't have the energy to be a perpetual energizer, you want to rest and not to be approached by anyone. And this is normal.

But what to do if the hibernation period is prolonged? And the mentee repeatedly postpones meetings or stops contacting you altogether? Perhaps the mentee is sabotaging assignments? Or have they simply given up, and after the first failures they think they can't achieve anything?

Let's take a look at how can a mentor support their mentee and improve their motivation in these situations.

A mentee is a human being with their own problems

There may be things going on in mentee's life right now that are much more important than achieving the goals you have set together a while ago. For example, health issues or family problems may occur. Ask the mentee if there are factors outside of your interaction that are affecting their goals. When and if do they plan to address these issues? Does the mentee need your help? And what can you do now to support them to improve their motivation? It is important to understand yourself well and know what you can help with and what lies outside of your expertise.

Is the set goal really important for a mentee?

Sometimes a mentee might think that a set goal is exactly what they need, because everyone else has already achieved it, and only them are lagging behind. Similarly to the ultra-trendy purse that all bloggers already have: I don't really need it, but am I worse than everyone else? It is always mum's friend's son who has already gotten 3 master's degrees in Europe, America and Asia, and not me? I need to do it as well!

Sometimes it is very difficult for a mentee to realize if a certain goal is not theirs, but is rather imposed by society, environment, or family. The mentee might constantly scold themselves and push themselves to achieve some goal, and then... What then? Ask the mentee, why do they need it? To do what? Why is it important to achieve this goal? And if you are told that "everybody already has it and I need it", "it is prestigious", "an important person thinks that it is a mandatory attribute of success or good career", etc. - this might be a sign that the goal is questionable and needs to be addressed. Then, it is important to discuss with the mentee what is really important to them? What would they like to achieve in the span of 5, 10, 20 years? And why do they set specifically these goals?

Fear of failure

Sometimes it's not as much the fear of failure itself as the anticipation of it. The inner imposter can get in the way even at the stage of "switch on the computer to start writing your CV". So, a mentee puts it off doing many, many other very important and urgent things. Hello, procrastination!

If it's about the fear of the first step, you can suggest the mentee to split a big goal into many, many smaller more manageable bits. For example, not to write a perfect CV from scratch in one go, but to write the "Education" block first and postpone finishing the CV for a while. Alternatively, for some, it might be easier to work on the document for 10 minutes right away. Later, those 10 minutes might turn into 20, plus, it's not as scary to work on a document that already has at least a couple of lines written in it.

All or nothing

If mentee's inner perfectionist tells them (and you) to do things perfectly or not do them at all, try to bring this mentee back to reality: there is no such thing as perfect. Share your experience, remind them that it's okay to make mistakes, to doubt, to postpone making decisions. It's important to set yourself some kind of deadline “after a week I show it to my mentor and we discuss it together”. It is better to do something that is not perfect and then refine it, than to be in creative torment all the time and not achieve anything. Support the mentee by saying that you will not criticize them for mistakes, but that you can brainstorm together about how to improve or resolve the situation.

Atmosphere during your meetings

Probably the most important thing that can keep a mentee motivated is the atmosphere of trust at your meetings. Don't be judgmental, don't criticize, or humiliate the mentee for mistakes or any other issues - you are there to support and guide. Importantly, abide by confidentiality, don't discuss the mentee in public.

It is also very important not to pressure the mentee or impose your opinion and vision. The more the mentee decides and chooses what to do on their own, the more motivated they are to stick to those decisions. It is your responsibility to share your experience and knowledge, and it is their responsibility to make the decisions. Similarly to following “someone else’s goals” - pursuing decisions that someone made for the mentee can squeeze all the energy and decrease motivation out of the mentee, but not bring them closer to the true goal.

Unrealistic expectations

"So let me just get myself together now and for sure tomorrow I will find a new job, start a master's program, or even change my career direction". And if tomorrow or even in a month nothing changes, the motivation of the mentee can decrease exponentially. We have already written discussed the fact that changing scientific direction, choosing a laboratory for further development, or moving to another country is not an easy task. Perhaps it is still difficult for a mentee to set realistic goals and deadlines. So it might help here to try and collect dome data to measure in any way how much different tasks and aims take in terms of time and efforts. Based on this, plan realistically what can be done and how long it takes. Do not try to jump over your head and don’t overwork. It is better to move slowly but steadily and regularly than burn fast by sleeplessly overworking for a week and then recover from a burnout during the next month.

Rest as a skill

Another tool to improve motivation is well-timed rest. You need to plan not only to work on tasks and goals, but also to relax. You might need to take time and work together with your mentee to fit “rest” into their schedule and even calendar. It can be difficult, especially when energy is high and you want to get to your goal without any delays. But in the long run, such enthusiasm can lead to burnout and loss of motivation. Ask the mentee how they plan to relax? What are their favorite ways to rest after a challenging day? What does the mentee like to do in their free time?

What if the mentee is doing everything you planned, but still it does not work out and the mentee is losing motivation? What might help in such a situation?

Yes, it happens. Success doesn't always come immediately, sometimes it takes longer than expected. But that's no reason to give up. Brainstorm with your mentee, think about what else you can do in this situation, get your network involved.

If you don't have the energy or resources for that, then the solution might be to shift your focus, concentrate on something else, de-prioritize that specific goal for a little while. Yes, continue to leisurely do what you have planned, but not with the idea that "this is the most important thing in my life".

And sometimes the best solution may be to just pause everything and do nothing. Take a vacation. Do something completely different. That's okay. And yes, this is also a way to do things. That's life. Sometimes priorities change. And sometimes after a pause like this, new opportunities appear.

All in all, the main tool for maintaining and improving motivation is an honest dialog: talk, ask, clarify, try to understand the real reason. Show the mentee that you are also a human being, tell them that everyone has ups and downs, share the story of your own failures and how you coped with them. Tell them that you won't scold them for not doing them homework neither even give them a bad mark. Remind them that if they need help and support, they can always ask you for it openly. After all, the mentee should make all decisions in their life, not their mentor. Most importantly, it is normal and even necessary to rest and take breaks if the mentee wants to make steady progress toward their goal.

About Sci.STEPS

Sc.STEPS scientific mentoring program is designed to empower aspiring early career researchers in making informed decisions when it comes to their educational and career journeys. Our experienced mentors work closely with mentees in a systematic long-term program or during short targeted consultations, helping them assess their research interests, strengths, and achieve their goals.